The Donald

A few months ago, on my other blog, I wrote a post about Donald Trump, making less-than-gentle fun of the man. At the time, he didn’t seem like much of a threat. I was fairly confident that Donald Trump had about as much chance of becoming president as a lemur had of learning to fly an aeroplane. It looks, however, as though it may be time to invent seatbelts for lemurs, though, because The Donald is looking like a serious presidential candidate.

After several years of threats, Donald Trump has finally decided to run for presidential election. I don’t know how he’s managed it, considering he has the mental acuity of a three-year-old, but he’s somehow managed to get himself taken seriously by America’s voting public. I don’t know, I reckon it might have something to do with his hair.

I don’t know how anyone in their right minds could possibly want to vote for a man whose primary rebuttal to his opponent’s arguments is the word, “Wrong!”, but then it struck me that anyone voting for Trump is quite clearly not in their right minds. To me, the idea that someone would vote for Trump because he has business acumen is probably the funniest. The man has bankrupted four companies! His own daughter talks about how he once pointed to a bum on the street and said, “That man is less in debt than I am.” And all of you who are claiming that he only abandoned those companies because he wanted to scrape the tax returns off the top, could you please shut up? I can’t for the life of me see how a man who might sell out your country for a tax return is a good candidate for presidency.

Have any of you have been following the debates recently? I do my best not to, I’d rather spend time with the few brain cells I have left after listening to the first one. The first thing I noticed about Donald Trump – and the first thing, I imagine, that most people with an IQ over 3 would notice – is that he has never, till date, given us a straight answer to a question. He’ll spew three hundred words at you without giving you a single fact – rather like my blogs, come to think of it.

Donald Trump has a rather peculiar attitude towards the truth, as well. Which is to say, he has no clue what it is. Going by what he’s said in the past, his speeches appear to be made up of random outrageous statements strung together with insults targeted at random people and groups. It reminds me of a twelve-year-old insulting another twelve-year-old, aside from the fact that Donald Trump is running for president and presumably will not mellow with age.

Honestly, I’m amazed anyone is still considering him a presidential candidate. Even the Republican Party – which never liked him much in the first place – has withdrawn its support for him. John McCain, a man whose teeth appear to have the highly amusing ability to filter all intelligence from any words passing between them, has finally performed his first sensible sensible act and withdrawn support for Trump. Not that I blame him – Trump’s recent little fiasco with the radio clip would be enough to turn even the densest away, as evidenced by Jack Welch’s withdrawal of support.

If you couldn’t figure it out from the post so far (and if you couldn’t, you’re probably voting for Trump), I don’t like Trump much. I think he’s a moron. Consider this a plea from a sixteen-year-old who’d really like to be able to visit the United States on occasion – vote for Hillary or Gary Johnson or, indeed, anyone who isn’t Trump. After all, you wouldn’t want a man who feels the need to defend the length of his fingers on live television as president, would you?

Ritvik Mandyam
About Ritvik Mandyam 16 Articles

Ritvik Mandyam is a class X student who, for unfathomable reasons, seems to enjoy complaining about things. He also whines a bit over at Funny Side (Hopefully) Up

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