Hotel Karnataka: Kingsley Jegan Joseph

Kingsley Jegan Joseph has created this marvellous version of “Hotel California”.  Compliments can be sent  to Kingsley.

Hotel Karnataka

On a dark desi highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of parottas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, saw a lorry headlight
My eyes grew squinty and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
Wearing nariyal tail
And I was thinking to myself,
“I’d like Pav Bhaji or maybe some Bhel”
Then she brought me the menu, but current went away
There were voices from the bathroom door,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karnataka
Oottaa aayithaa? (Oottaa aayithaa?)
Oottaa aayithaa?
Ready full-meals at the Hotel Karnataka
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

They had tiffin and full-meals (no sharing with friends)
Akki Rotis and Neer Dosas, even – Gobi Manchurians
Maddur Vade and Mudde, Soooft Dosa Set,
Some meals to remember, sambar I’d like to forget!

So I called up the waiter,
“Swalpa neer kodappa”
He said, “We don’t have enough to give, if you’re from south of Cuddapah”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karnataka
Oottaa aayithaa? (Oottaa aayithaa?)
Oottaa aayithaa
Order full-meals at the Hotel Karnataka
Unlimited rice (Unlimited rice)
PaLya on the side

She asked “What’re you eating?”
Said, “I love your thunder thighs”
She said, “Chaplili hoduthini naayi”, and rolled her big brown eyes
And on the hotel TV
Dr. Raj is tempting fate
It’s too early if you come today
But tomorrow? That’s too late!

Last thing I remember, I was
Running to the door
I had to Google Maps it back
To Marathalli by four
“Relax, ” said the watch man,
“This is Bangalore traffic, see?
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!”

Deepa Mohan
About Deepa Mohan 712 Articles
Deepa Mohan is a freelance writer and avid naturalist.

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